David used to say to me that, because we had to meet three separate and rigorous requirements to be married, it was going to be very difficult for us to undo our marriage vow. Each time, I’d simply say, “ok,” with a big smile. I was willing to do whatever was necessary to be given permission to marry the love of my life.
Ours has been an “international” marriage, involving two people with vastly different backgrounds – geographically, linguistically, and culturally, among other differences. As a matter of routine, the United States Air Force had my background checked out. We were forewarned that it may take a while for us to be cleared for marriage because I was a “friendly alien.” In other words, friendly but an alien, nonetheless. Thanks to my then employment at Newsweek Tokyo Bureau (an American company), however, the screening process progressed rather quickly.
We were also required by the Catholic Church to go through an intensive marriage preparation class together for the life commitment that we were about to make to each other. The lessons and the process started in the summer of 1971, as soon as we decided to get married. We were madly in love that we were willing to do whatever it took to make it happen.
In terms of the marriage procedure itself, the first two steps of the three-step process were to meet legal requirements at the respective official locations:
- With the Japanese government in the Ward Office, which is equivalent to a County Clerk’s Office in the U.S.A.
- With the U.S. government at the American embassy in Tokyo.
Both of these legal requirements were met on February 17, 1972, when David and I had completed filing a required set of documents. This, therefore, is our legal wedding date.
The third and final requirement – which was insisted upon by David’s mom, a devout Catholic – was met in a church in Tachikawa, Japan. There, we exchanged our vows on March 2, 1972. This took place over half a century ago when we were both 22 years old – barely adults, in retrospect. Ours was a very small wedding. It was also the happiest day of my life.
In attendance from my side were my parents, Taisuke and Teruko Tanikawa; my brother, Eiichi Tanikawa (who was suffering from a severe cold); and my friend from college, Yoshiko Kikkawa, who was the bride’s maid. From David’s side, it was impossible for the family to travel due to an exorbitant cost of airfare, but they were certainly there in spirit – his parents, Jack & Lois McKendry; brothers, John, Jim, and Gary McKendry; and sister, Sharon Fritche. David’s friend in the U.S. Air Force, Michael Smith, was the best man. He was a Sioux Indian – how cool is that!?
At the church ceremony, conducted in English, we repeated the words after the Father, as instructed. English being my second language, I remember little about the rest of the words except for the part about “in sickness and in health.” That, for some reason, stuck in my head.
Shortly thereafter, I had a health scare. During a routine medical exam, I was feeling perfectly fine and normal, but there was a talk about sending me to Arizona!? I was dumbfounded. To make a long story short, it was indeed a false alarm. Supposedly, the X-ray showed a “shadow.” Regardless of what had prompted the false alarm, during that period, what I learned was that David would stick by me, no matter what. I felt a complete sense of being enveloped in pure and unconditional love. So, I think God played a trick on us, on purpose, so that I could see what David was made of.
Over half a century later, the day we got married was still the happiest day of my life. Sure, we’ve had our share of ups and downs but, for the most part, life with my love has been very good. I am not exactly religious, but I cannot help but think that, somehow, angels must have been – and still are – involved in making our marriage work well.
For over half a century, for the most part, both of us have been quite healthy. Then, a few weeks ago, my love fell ill and was hospitalized. We were told that he’d be there the entire month of April. So, this is the “in sickness” part of our “in sickness and in health” vow. We’ve had “in health” phase, together, almost all these years – except when we were both hospitalized after a car accident on April 4, 2004; this exact date has been etched in my brain ever since, but that’s another story for another blog. Because of the long-running “in health” status that we have been able to enjoy together, I have little excuse to complain about the current situation.
After all, I am the luckiest girl to not only have met the love of my life in the summer of 1971 but had the privilege of sharing my life with him ever since. No matter how you slice it, over half a century is a long time.
Life has been exceptionally good to me.
