On May 10, 2025, our dear friend, Sandie Nelson, passed away. Today, May 17, 2025, we will be attending her funeral service in Lansing, Michigan.
As of this writing, I have not yet been able to get my head around the fact that she is no longer with us. I suppose the reality will hit when attending the funeral…
She and I met in 1994 when Jesse, our son, became engaged to be married to her lovely daughter, Kathy, at Munn Ice Arena at Michigan State University. Back then, Sandie’s parents, Paul & Catherine Titus, were still very much alive and well. She was their only child.
During summer, David and I were always welcomed with open arms to join everyone at their cottage in Crystal Lake, Michigan.
You see, to my understanding, going back in time, there was a significant adjustment period within the bride’s family due to my being non-Caucasian. Apparently, the brunt of the “friction” was being felt by then newly-weds-to-be.
Thanks to however way the situation was handled by Jesse and Kathy, by the time David (Caucasian) and I (Asian) met her family, I felt no such “difficulties.” You see, racism can be a big deal when one or more parties “choose” to make it so for whatever reason. As for me, being an Asian, living in America among mostly Caucasians, I was always fascinated by how Americans lived their lives differently than those back home in Japan. I simply found the cultural differences fascinating. In America where people of all backgrounds co-exist, if I were to have any racial prejudices, I think I would have made my life a living hell. Each of us lives only once; so, why would I do that to myself? As the Beatles would say, “Love is all you need.”
Regardless of whatever drama there might have existed, by the time we met, I found out that Sandie was the type of person who would make everyone feel at home. She often took me for a walk around Crystal Lake. During one of those walks, apparently, there was a rain cloud moving into the area. You see, I would not have known that because I grew up in Tokyo where, for the most part, buildings block the view of the big, open sky, meaning, you can only see the sky above in the immediate area. So, it was either sunny, cloudy, or rainy. I was, therefore, not accustomed to the concept of the weather “moving into the area,” like you see in Western movies filmed in prairies or in mountainous areas. (Note: Having said that, as a little girl, when the area was not yet quite developed, at the back of my parents’ house in Tsurumaki, Setagaya-ku, Tokyo, I do remember having admired, on clear days, the view of Mt. Fuji, toward the west.)
Getting back to the original story about walking around Crystal Lake in Michigan, before it started raining, her dad, whom we all called “PT,” came to pick us up in his car – so that we did not have to get wet or be hit by lightning. At that point, Sandie and I were already grandmothers to our mutual grandchildren – Jessica and Alyssa (Ryan was yet to be born in the future); but, to PT, we were still “kids” that needed to be protected from the elements. Naturally, I adored him. So did David. To this day, David reminisces how much he enjoyed sitting next to PT, rocking in the chair on the deck, facing the beautiful lake, sipping coffee, and talking with him about anything and everything. Having lost his father, Jack McKendry – when our son, Jesse, was still a toddler – PT became like David’s surrogate father. Naturally, both David and I adored him.
I thoroughly enjoyed those walks with Sandie around the big lake. It’s amazing how much two people can talk about all sorts of things while enjoying each other’s company.
When my time comes, I look forward to taking our walks, again, in heaven. Until then, rest in peace, Sandie!
