Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my life – both in Japan and in the U.S.A. – spanning a total of over seven decades. As a baby-boomer kid from birth to reaching adulthood in Japan, I do not recall a single moment when I felt lacking in any of the three basic human needs: i.e., food, clothing, and shelter.
Well, I take that back. Monday through Saturday, I had to walk to and from school. Consequently, at least once, if not more, I did have a hole at the bottom of my shoe. I think the only reason I remember the problem is because of the wetness I felt when it rained. It is interesting how when picking a topic, suddenly things about which I had forgotten for decades come back to life.
Regardless, thanks to my parents, I did take for granted each of the basic needs that had always been met. This is in direct contrast to my parents’ generation, who experienced shortages in all three basic categories due to lack of resources shortly after World War II.
By the time I reached adulthood, I also knew that I would never have to rely on another human being for what I needed. This was by a deliberate design and determination on my part. Having observed the hierarchical relationship between my parents – my father being the provider and bully; my mother being the dependent and subservient one – I never wanted to put myself in a situation where I had to rely on another human being for basic needs.
My mother was only 19 years old, barely an adult, when she married my father who was a decade older than her. It was an arranged marriage. Odds were stacked against her from the beginning of their relationship. Sadly, my mother’s story is a cautionary tale of what not to do in any human relationship, if you can help it. By osmosis, I learned that those who hold the purse strings control the relationships – not always, but often.
The only way to avoid being trapped in a bad situation is to be strong enough to set your boundaries BEFORE getting into a relationship. For instance, in my case, no violence was acceptable under any circumstance. I’m sure you can guess why this was important to me. Additionally, to enjoy true equality, financial independence of each partner is a must.
I do not recall ever being desperately hungry. I do not recall ever feeling the need to impress others with my possessions, whether it be clothing or building. I have enough clothes to last the rest of my life. Like most others, the only thing I care about is that the clothes I wear are clean. In terms of shelter, when we bought the current residence in 2021, it did need extensive remodeling, which was completed to our satisfaction within three months. Having been in the real-estate business helped us identify the right people to get the job done for us as soon as we closed on the house. Ever since then, and likely for the rest of our lives, our shelter needs are simply in maintenance mode.
Beyond the basic needs, I was able to afford for myself the few luxury items that I’ve ever wanted; notably, my grand piano and ability to fly. The piano is regularly maintained not only by me (for humidity control) but also by a professional tuner. The best part is that David never gets tired of listening to me play it. As for flying, I have not flown as a pilot in command since the mid-1980s. How has time flown!? (No pun intended.)
As I write this blog, I’m on a treadmill in my office/exercise room, looking out the front window – just as I always did in our previous residence in Bloomfield Township. Filled with beautiful shades of green, the condominium-complex grounds are meticulously maintained by professionals.
Lastly, I chose to be on the board of the condominium homeowners’ association. I’m honored to be able to serve this wonderful community.
